The Fat Spy Streaming

Filed under: The Fat Spy — Admin at 7:21 am on Thursday, July 22, 2010
The Fat Spy Streaming. The Fat Spy Streaming.

Movie Title: The Fat Spy
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The Fat Spy is available for streaming or downloading.

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Describing this movie is like describing the savor of a child or incense smoke rising, but I will do my best. The Beefy Glance is a narrative as musty as time itself, the ongoing search for the Fountain of Youth. Only this time our heroes look that the Fountain is not actually a fountain of water, but two sunless twin roses growing from the same stem.

Well I’m definite everyone buys or sees this movie for one reason, Jayne Mansfield, so let’s talk about her. I’ve never seen her as heavy as she did in this movie. Granted she is quiet exquisite and lovely, but the hourglass figure is gone as she is a bit thick in the middle. By recent spaghetti-thin model standards, she could even be described as chubby, but to me who can relish a attractive woman, she looked gigantic. One scene has her wrapped in only what can be described as the happiest towel in Hollywood. You regain some gigantic cleavage and chest shots as she dries herself. She also sings a number to her admire interest `Irving’. Unfortunately, this film will not cement Jayne’s acting abilities for immortality. Let’s face it, she was what she was. A expansive body and a rival (ha ha) to Marilyn Monroe. Jayne seems to go out of her plot to act fair like her with the dreamy, whispery disclose and monotonous blonde routine that Marilyn found inescapable as her career went on. In one scene where Jayne is tied to an AC unit she screams for succor. She suddenly pauses and turns to the camera and pathetically starts doing the Marilyn pout and blowing kisses.

This film which was probably filmed on a budget that couldn’t drive a car across the country was shot on a lake which was supposed to be a beach. This film is actually a musical and any excuse possible is old-fashioned to throw in abominable singing and worse dancing. Capture for instance the song sang before the opening credits even open. “When people got money, they clear act droll”. One scene has the teenage group on the beach deciding they need to go to Cape Coral after `discovering’ a impress posted by a Florida Tourist attraction. All the girls swim out to the boat to launch it up, while the guys all acquire their method to the dock, where quite handily, drums and guitars are found. They snort a number while waiting for the girls to pull up with the boat. Another song is sung by Phyllis Diller. She mostly talks words to music rather than singing, so there is some mercy here. However the topple on the floor and laugh until you yowl scene is the `Everybody do the Turtle’ song. The song is so poor, it will linger in your head for days.

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There are some loose ends that don’t quite tie up as the movie ends. One kid goes fishing in a rubber raft (he sings a song while fishing of course), and catches a mermaid. Well after going aid to shore he decides he loves her and wants to go bag her. He starts moping around and the last mention of him is his clothes are found on the shore. Reckon he swam out naked to regain his admire.

The film quality is dreadful, even on DVD. The characterize is grainy and the sound is wrong. At times you can’t hear the lines because the surf is too loud. Then there are the cartoon balloons that try to disappear the movie along and attempt to succor the viewer in the progress of the film. Honest before the ending credits there were promises of upcoming movies: The Return of Chunky Gaze, Bride of Bulky Search For, and Son of Stout Study. I’m unruffled looking, but haven’t found them yet.

All in all this movie rules. My wife’s quote “Oh you owe me sizable for making me sit through this.”

It’s droll that American-International is commonly conception of as the low-budget, bottom of the barrel studio of the ’60s, when watching something like “The Beefy Scrutinize” immediately proves that A.I.P.’s movies were the archetype or model for any number of obscure regional productions like this one. The thing is – the Texas or Florida knockoffs have an entirely different and considerable better feel to them.

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“The Corpulent Recognize” takes the “Beach Party” model of healthy, squeaky-clean All-American teens and populates its landscape with raggedy, locally-recruited Florida kids. Hardly “Annette” caliber, they sport excessive tattoos, withering bouffants, dribbling cat-eye makeup and all seem to smoke incessantly. Instead of frolicking on the blue Pacific beaches, they gently tread on the seaweedy, brown water shores of Cape Coral, Florida, which is actually on the Caloosahatchee RIVER. Why they didn’t honest drive another 30 miles to Ft. Myers or Sanibel Island is beyond me. It’s fun for people familiar with this situation to gawk it before it devolved into another strip-mall wasteland.

The area is totally incomprehensible. I’ve watched it three times and have no conception what is happening. The songs are earache-inducingly poor. But it is incredibly hypnotic, with the aforementioned oddball locations and a cast (Mansfield, Diller) who are already a bit surreal-looking to commence with. Points especially to Jayne who ticked off “beach party” in her expanding list of exploitation genres during this period, including countryploitation (Las Vegas Hillbillies), sword-and-sandal (The Loves of Hercules), mondo movies (Musty Admire), and finally her post-mortem JAYNEploitation (Wild Wild World of Jayne Mansfield) . Too abominable she never did a straight-up terror movie.

As for the DVD – grand points off for the cruddy packaging, featuring misspelled names of both Diller and Jack Leonard on the conceal (!) and an unrelated photo of Jayne which was easily taken ten years before this movie was made. No extras and a sub-par full-frame mastering with lots of artifacting, although it is easily better than VHS copies. At least it is bargain-priced.
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